For those of you who don’t know, I’m Karina. The program director at 98.5 KFOX. The last few days, I’ve been a part of a little experiment on the morning show involving Joey and Chris Jackson. I love hanging out with those guys and can only hope they don’t mind having their boss in the studio with them.
Well, I wasn’t there today. I’m going to take a few minutes to just talk straight with you. I’m going to step out of my comfort zone of hiding everything with sarcastic humor and just be completely vulnerable about this situation that we are all going through together.
Last night was a terrifying night for me. I’m in a long distance relationship with a radio guy out of San Antonio, TX. We were on Facetime talking about the world outside when suddenly it hit me. What if I get sick? What if I already have COVID-19 and am not showing any symptoms? You know my skin is feeling kind of hot, but my temperature is normal. I read the symptoms and suddenly started to feel my face turn flush. My heart started racing, hands felt numb, and throat felt scratchy. My boyfriend kept trying to calm me down, but it was too late. I was fully convinced that I was feeling every symptom of the novel Coronavirus.
I decided to try and fall asleep, until I started to feel a very familiar feeling. My mouth was dryer than the Sahara and my stomach was in knots. My boyfriend immediately asked if I was okay. My response was I think I need to throw up. Sure enough, I did. At that point, I knew exactly what was happening. I made myself sick. I was having a panic attack. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and it’s something I’ve dealt with since a young age. It hasn’t been easy, but it had been a long while since I experienced something like that.
Like many people, I’m scared of the unknown. One thing is for sure, we’ll get through it together. Sometimes you just need to take some time to take care of yourself and decompress. The mind is a powerful tool so don’t let it fool you. I did some reading today and found out that anxiety can actually produce symptoms just like COVID-19. Your mind can physically make you ill when you’re not. You can read that here.
I know this was incredibly long but if you’re still reading, thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to listen. If you’re dealing with something similar, do not hesitate to reach out for help. This time of “social distancing” can be extremely difficult. Check on your friends and loved ones. You can always email me at email@example.com if you need someone to talk to.